Why You Don’t Need New Year’s Resolutions
Today we're going to talk about New Year's resolutions and how much I don't like them. Today we're going to talk about news, resolutions, and how much they stink. You don't need them. Let me tell you why.
00:51
If you think about it, we subscribe to so many different rules and social norms every day that we don't end up doing the things that we want to do. You hold yourself back worrying about what people think or trying to please other people or doing life the way that you thought people were supposed to do it. And then one day you wake up and you say, “Oh my gosh, I have a life that I didn't even choose. It didn't even want it.”
01:20
I believe that we need to make every day intentional. And so we're going to start by talking about what you can do right now, since it's the end of 2020 and we're looking towards 2021 to fulfill all of our dreams. The reality is you are the only one who is going to fulfill your dreams. You are in charge. You can want things and dream things and wish things, but you're the only person who really has any control over the goals that you achieve. There are big life events, sad things, happy things, timing, things that take control away from you, but everything else is in your control. And that's what we're going to talk about today.
So when I come to the end of December, I have a reminder in my phone, it actually went off today, so I thought “let me share this.” It asks to reflect on my calendar for the whole year. How did I spend my time? I just scroll through my Google Calendar and I see what I spent my time doing. My calendar is full of meetings from my job. There are a lot of little todo's, a lot of errands, a little bit of doctors appointments. There's a lot of downtime, and rest is important and doing nothing is really important for your creativity. But what I'm talking about is downtime that sort of wasted, where I spent my time doing things that weren't productive. Or I spent too much time than I wanted to doing things like watching TV.
02:56
So, I did a vision board and these questions that I'm about to share last year and I can use those things to compare my calendar to.
03:08
I can say did my vision board align with my calendar? Does my calendar reflect what I wanted at the beginning of 2020?
03:34
If the answer is no, then this is where we make huge adjustments going forward.
I made a collage of a bunch of photos of things that I wanted in my life that represented my goals. This kept my vision board uncluttered and clear of what I wanted and pretty…
05:09
The center questions say. Where is the Lord asking you to walk with him this year 2020? What is he inviting you to lay down? What is he offering you to pick up? And what are the dreams that he is fanning into flame in your heart?
06:17
When COVID-19 happened, I realized about a month in that I needed to reevaluate my vision board to see if my goals were still attainable or possible in the year. They actually were, it just changed the way that I did them. My goals were personal…
07:17
Try this worksheet I made to prioritize your goals and break them down into small, doable goals. Go to www.samholmberg.com/freebies.
It will send you right to a link, you pop in your email, and you download this worksheet that helps you set your goals by asking you questions.
So, what you want to do is think about what activities are important to you, right? Spending time with family or eating well, or prioritizing my mental health through whatever. Positive coping strategies I have. And then you want to write smart goals for these. What are smart goals? These are all over the Internet all over Ted talks. Smart is an acronym that stands for specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time bound.
So if your goals are all wishy washy and you don't give a certain number or a certain deadline, then these things are never going to happen. They're not specific enough for you to even know what to do with them. Once you've written smart goals for the things that you want to do more in your life, you want to break it down into smaller timelines so that you can have little achievable wins. If you're a person who likes to celebrate and it keeps you motivated, you get a little treat. Build in some treats for you. Whatever is going to work…
If you start your goal and if you don't follow through, you cannot shame yourself. You cannot guilt yourself. You cannot say well, don't throw it all away, just start again. It's OK. You have to say I'm OK. I'm not a bad person. I'm not a failure. I might have to start again, but the fact is that if you start again. You'll get it at some point. Do not give up and do not guilt or shame yourself. That will only slow you down. It's not worth it. Those are Guilt. Guilt is not going to make you feel like you're good enough to do it right. You want to achieve this goal. You need to be nice to yourself so that you just say that's OK. Next step next step. What's next? Just keep going and you'll eventually get there.
